The Art of Tai Tai Living, Part I

No, Tai Tai is not yoga or martial arts (though it does require flexibility, skill and raw survival instinct). It's basically the Chinese term for "Mrs." as in The Lady of the House, and for the (usually) unemployed expat wives, it's become a great way of explaining the weirdness of our life here. The strangely formal social interaction with our husbands' companies. The shortcuts that make life easier. The ways we've recreated home-country customs. The struggle against bone-wearing busyness. The sheepish looks when we admit our dependency on household help. The days of solo-parenting while husbands travel. The sheer pleasures of parties, charity balls, or just catching up over coffee. The realization that girl friends are a necessity to combatting isolation, self-absorption and homesickness.

Tai Tai's are resourceful. They are daring. They are manicured and pedicured.

And despite how much we tease each other for "living the good life" of travel, household help, and shopping jaunts, Tai Tai's give back to Taiwan. These are the ladies that open their homes to stray animals and their hearts to foster children. They coach the sports teams and lead the pack hikes. There's even a touch rugby team called "The Tai Tais" that formed to give the high school girls someone to practice against. But oh, how we do love to tease and joke about our expat life! In their lovely, funny, self-deprecating way, the Tai Tais filled in the answer to "You know you're an expat wife when..." just so I could give you a glimpse of the Art of Tai Tai Living.

Up this week, the battle for food! Who knew that you CAN'T get everything you need from one store no matter how big it is? Unless, that is, you're willing to cook stirfry A LOT, use toilet paper that should be called Sandy Wipe, and believe toothpaste from mainland China might actually be healthy.

Grocery Shopping and Food: You know you're an expat wife when...

• You grocery shop at 3-4 different stores and still can't find all the ingredients to make your favorite meal. - Liisa
• Grocery shopping takes a full day. You walk to Wellcome to get fish, eggs and dairy. Then you go home to unload your rolling cart and head back out to the bakery to buy your bread, the fresh market to buy fruits and veggies, that only last a week and finally return home. Oh and..... your children flip coins to see who gets stuck shopping with mom! Grocery shopping used to be so much fun! - Karen
• Other shoppers at Costco constantly peep into your shopping cart. You threaten to run over the lady who has stopped in front of you and leaned over to get a better look at what you bought. - Gwen and Janell
• You walk 20 mins from the grocery store with heavy bags, but when you get home, the guard insists on carrying them on the elevator and putting them in the kitchen for you. Where is he when I'm struggling down the road with them? - Elspeth
• You ask your driver to take your Costco purchases home where your amah is there ready to put it away... meanwhile you head off shopping with your friend! - Mary (Mary has truly embraced the Tai Tai life, I'd say!)
• You go to the wet market and see all those weird meat cuts hanging on hooks, and it actually starts to look good to you! - maybe that is when you have been in Taiwan too long... - Janell
• Your week runs the following way....Monday PTA meeting, Tuesday hike the mountain and Costco, Wednesday Coffee morning, lunch at ACC after choir practice, Thursday Ladies Tennis League, Friday - date night, Saturday - TYPA, Sunday - church and dinner at Chili's. - Liisa
• You have been here less than two years and have probably been to Chili's well over 100 times. Sometimes twice in the same week. - Ana
• Sometimes you go to Chili's twice in the same DAY. You know of friends who bring Chili's take-out Margaritas into the movie theatre. (You know who you are.) - Cassia
• You go back to America, walk into a convenience store and do not hear "NIN HUANYING" (Welcome) in a high pitched voice, and you begin to wonder if something is wrong with Americans. - Jennifer
• You have cookie sheets that are too big for your oven, you have an ancient post-it with temperature conversions on the wall, and you debate with friends whether the oven setting with the chicken picture or the cake picture actually cooks the food more evenly. - Cassia
• You order McDonald's 24-hour delivery at 5am for pancakes and hot coffee because you are jet lagged and starving and have nothing in your apartment. You convince a taxi to take you through the McDonald's drive-thru for Happy Meals. - Ana (One of my favorite Ana-isms is, "I don't need a driver. I have 10,000 drivers in yellow cars all over Taipei." That's the Tai Tai spirit!)

Coming up next: Tai Tais in the Fast Lane - more "You know you're and expat wife when..."