The Art of Tai Tai Living, Part II

It’s Starbucks Wednesday! That’s the day I do “Library Time with Ms. Cassia” at Caroline’s school, and I pop in for a latte just beforehand. The dose of Starbucks makes me a read a tad fast, but the caffeine-induced sense of well-being aids in my recovery from Crazy Tuesday. That’s the day I hot-foot-it around Tienmu, shuffling the kids to activities while hauling most of their stuff on my back.

Today it will most likely be in the high 80’s, but I will still pretend it’s autumn and that I need hot coffee to warm me up. I’ll also pretend to people-watch, but I’ll actually be playing a game called “Spot someone I know on a bus.” No, not in the bus. I like scanning the ads that wrap the buses, looking for the faces of my “famous” friends.

Or rather, my friends’ famous children. Because as my good friend Nicky says, “You know you’re an expat wife when a picture of your kids goes past you on the side of a bus or you see a poster of them on a random building.” And here’s the real Tai Tai twist… You’ve taken pictures of the pictures, especially with your “famous” model kid standing next to himself.

Of course, you can’t let fame go to your head. Tai Tai’s have a constant mental battle to distinguish between what’s real and what’s gone a bit into fantasy land. For instance it is real for an expat to stick out like a sore thumb. But it is just a bit weird that it no longer bothers me when people hand me their cameras and have me take pictures of them with my all-American cuties. Someone stop us if we start signing autographs. It’s also real that we have to improvise to make holidays happen – buying decorations during summer home leave, spending a mint on a frozen imported turkey – but who in the real world has a serious discussion about whether we can post the housekeepers at vacant houses so the kids can have more places to trick-or-treat? Tai Tai is definitely a frame of mind, girls!!

So for a twist this week, we’ll answer the question, "You know you might have been an expat wife too long when…"

You no longer think anything of going to shady run down studios to model for 1000NT ($30) per hour. Ana

You actually start to like having your underwear ironed by the amah (can't speak from experience on this one). - Liisa (It’s the perfectly folded “panty packets” sorted and stacked in rainbow order that sold me.)

You describe your child in a group by saying, "He's the blond." Kerri

You give your 3rd grader a cell phone because it makes life more convenient for you! - Janell

Your kids start singing the refrain to the latest "Bed world" commercial...in Taiwanese. - Liisa

You refer to flagging down a taxi as "hiring a car" and the cabbie as "my driver." – Cassia (Seriously, his name is Enrico and I think all cars should be yellow.)

Although you and your family are Chinese American, your 7 year old looks at you and says, "Mommy, you don't look like you would speak Chinese because you have freckles." - Cathy

You have your own "pearl lady" in the market because you’ve bought jewelry from her so many times. She knows your name and where you live. She tells your friends she saw you today! Karen

You walk to your kid’s school with your helper, and she insists on carrying your purse while shading you from the sun with her umbrella. (I had to tell her to stop really.) Ana

You suspect that the real reason your friend adopted a dog from the Buddhist monks was so her kids will have something to keep them busy while you're all catching up on Facebook. - Cassia

You actually prefer drinking warm water to ice water. Janell (And when the temp drops below 85, you start looking for your jacket.)

You think it's normal to have at least one authentic designer bag - doesn't everyone have a Louis Vitton or Gucci? - Christine (And you bought said bag a mere 50 yards from home because you live next to a high-end shopping mall and pass by it everyday.)

You are so completely mad because you can only get your usual cleaning lady for 2 days this week instead of the usual 3! Janell

You see every other Expat wife wearing the same outfit as you because the one store that caters to normal sizes just got a new shipment in. - Christine

You let your 7th grader take a taxi back home. - Milena

You have the phone number of the Knock Off watch/purse guy on you cell phone. All you do is call and in a few hours a whole load of illegal items is on your Dining room table. - Marsha

You find that storage space is at such a premium that you now store your Christmas tree in your second bathtub (yes Ana that one is for you) :) Christine

Even though you (still) don't speak Chinese and the person you are communicating with doesn't speak English - you both know exactly what the other is talking about. Janell

Aren't we a good looking bunch? A few of the expat faithful celebrating "Tai Tai'" Mary's birthday!

The Art of Tai Tai Living, Part I

No, Tai Tai is not yoga or martial arts (though it does require flexibility, skill and raw survival instinct). It's basically the Chinese term for "Mrs." as in The Lady of the House, and for the (usually) unemployed expat wives, it's become a great way of explaining the weirdness of our life here. The strangely formal social interaction with our husbands' companies. The shortcuts that make life easier. The ways we've recreated home-country customs. The struggle against bone-wearing busyness. The sheepish looks when we admit our dependency on household help. The days of solo-parenting while husbands travel. The sheer pleasures of parties, charity balls, or just catching up over coffee. The realization that girl friends are a necessity to combatting isolation, self-absorption and homesickness.

Tai Tai's are resourceful. They are daring. They are manicured and pedicured.

And despite how much we tease each other for "living the good life" of travel, household help, and shopping jaunts, Tai Tai's give back to Taiwan. These are the ladies that open their homes to stray animals and their hearts to foster children. They coach the sports teams and lead the pack hikes. There's even a touch rugby team called "The Tai Tais" that formed to give the high school girls someone to practice against. But oh, how we do love to tease and joke about our expat life! In their lovely, funny, self-deprecating way, the Tai Tais filled in the answer to "You know you're an expat wife when..." just so I could give you a glimpse of the Art of Tai Tai Living.

Up this week, the battle for food! Who knew that you CAN'T get everything you need from one store no matter how big it is? Unless, that is, you're willing to cook stirfry A LOT, use toilet paper that should be called Sandy Wipe, and believe toothpaste from mainland China might actually be healthy.

Grocery Shopping and Food: You know you're an expat wife when...

• You grocery shop at 3-4 different stores and still can't find all the ingredients to make your favorite meal. - Liisa
• Grocery shopping takes a full day. You walk to Wellcome to get fish, eggs and dairy. Then you go home to unload your rolling cart and head back out to the bakery to buy your bread, the fresh market to buy fruits and veggies, that only last a week and finally return home. Oh and..... your children flip coins to see who gets stuck shopping with mom! Grocery shopping used to be so much fun! - Karen
• Other shoppers at Costco constantly peep into your shopping cart. You threaten to run over the lady who has stopped in front of you and leaned over to get a better look at what you bought. - Gwen and Janell
• You walk 20 mins from the grocery store with heavy bags, but when you get home, the guard insists on carrying them on the elevator and putting them in the kitchen for you. Where is he when I'm struggling down the road with them? - Elspeth
• You ask your driver to take your Costco purchases home where your amah is there ready to put it away... meanwhile you head off shopping with your friend! - Mary (Mary has truly embraced the Tai Tai life, I'd say!)
• You go to the wet market and see all those weird meat cuts hanging on hooks, and it actually starts to look good to you! - maybe that is when you have been in Taiwan too long... - Janell
• Your week runs the following way....Monday PTA meeting, Tuesday hike the mountain and Costco, Wednesday Coffee morning, lunch at ACC after choir practice, Thursday Ladies Tennis League, Friday - date night, Saturday - TYPA, Sunday - church and dinner at Chili's. - Liisa
• You have been here less than two years and have probably been to Chili's well over 100 times. Sometimes twice in the same week. - Ana
• Sometimes you go to Chili's twice in the same DAY. You know of friends who bring Chili's take-out Margaritas into the movie theatre. (You know who you are.) - Cassia
• You go back to America, walk into a convenience store and do not hear "NIN HUANYING" (Welcome) in a high pitched voice, and you begin to wonder if something is wrong with Americans. - Jennifer
• You have cookie sheets that are too big for your oven, you have an ancient post-it with temperature conversions on the wall, and you debate with friends whether the oven setting with the chicken picture or the cake picture actually cooks the food more evenly. - Cassia
• You order McDonald's 24-hour delivery at 5am for pancakes and hot coffee because you are jet lagged and starving and have nothing in your apartment. You convince a taxi to take you through the McDonald's drive-thru for Happy Meals. - Ana (One of my favorite Ana-isms is, "I don't need a driver. I have 10,000 drivers in yellow cars all over Taipei." That's the Tai Tai spirit!)

Coming up next: Tai Tais in the Fast Lane - more "You know you're and expat wife when..."